January 16, 2021

Bereola is the go-to style and etiquette impresario, public speaker and entrepreneur. He is also the author of the critically acclaimed BEREOLAESQUE: The Contemporary Gentleman & Etiquette book for the Urban Sophisticate. He is working on his follow-up, Guide to Ladies’ Etiquette from a Gentleman’s Perspective. Find him at www.twitter.com/Bereolaesque and at www.facebook.com/Bereolaesque

If you were to get a knife and cut a Barbie doll’s head off, you would find no brain inside. If you were to make a small incision on the doll’s chest, there would be no soul. A human being lacking these two vital components is in a severe vegetative state. Contrary to Aqua’s 1997 hit record, “Barbie Girl,” life in plastic isn’t so fantastic. Almost 15 years later, it seems many women have forgotten that important message.

From online screen names, to mall-rats and beyond, you will see traces of the Barbie phenomenon. It has suddenly become “cute” to be lifeless, look blankly ahead and tilt your dome. No disrespect to Nicki Minaj, because what she does is entertainment. She receives large paychecks for her Barbie-like persona. But, what’s your excuse?

Barbie is a pale doll. Everything she represents is fake. A lady with soul, however, has creativity, thoughts and content. She is a living, breathing manifestation of the most compelling dimension of human life. Soul is truth. The minute you subscribe to this Barbie phenomenon, the second you’re telling people you’re unreal and gimmicky. You’re sending a message that you have no soul or real thoughts. You can’t pick up any knowledge when you’re clutching onto your Louis Vuitton bag too tightly. In the words of rapper, Lupe Fiasco, “Baby girl what does it matter where your purse from? Your hair done, your nails did, your a** fat, but you’re dumb.”

Ladies, this is for you: It’s sexy that your skin is smooth and your shirt is low baby, but if you haven’t watched CNN or picked up a newspaper in the last week, we can’t kick it. Beauty without intelligence is a Bentley with no gas, wallet with no cash and a stripper with no a**. Be conscious, be aware and be involved. Intellect is free, get some.

Gentlemen, this is for you: Real men don’t play with dolls. Let ladies know that when they mimic their lifestyle and persona after a toy, we assume they want to be played. Inform ladies we can’t take them seriously when they desire to be a doll. Go tell it on a mountain that we would rather a have lady with Bachelor of Science stamped on her degree than, than Mattel stamped on her tail.

Think outside of the Mattel box. It’s okay to have space to daydream and even a bit of fantasy outside of real life. But there’s certainly a line to be drawn between fantasy and reality. I can still see your insecurities through all that make-up. If you desire to be beautiful, then be beautiful. Spend some reflection time alone and fall in love with you. Learn to embrace your physical flaws and love them. When you love you, we love you. Your beauty radiates from within. Hold onto your soul.



– Enitan Bereola, II